Paris Can Wait (2017)

Directed by: Eleanor Coppola

Written by: Eleanor Coppola

Starring: Diane Lane, Arnaud Viard, & Alec Baldwin

DON'T EVER SEE THIS MOVIE!

Horrible, horrible!

Anne (Lane) is married to Michael (Baldwin), some executive in the entertainment business.  When he needs to travel to Budapest? (I think.), Anne complains that her ears hurt and she'll meet Michael in Paris.  She decides to take a train, but is convinced to travel with Michael's business partner Jacques (Viard) by car.  Instead of getting there overnight, it turns into the longest car ride of her life.

The worse thing about this movie, besides the plot, is that the film kept teasing you that something was going to happen, and it never did.

The plot is boring and it's basically just Lane and Viard on a car ride enjoying the sights to get to Paris.  There is supposable chemistry between the two characters, but Michael and exes of Jacques keep being brought up that it steers you off course.

I was bored out of my mind and eager at the same time to see what would happen.  Huge disappointment.

1 Kernel.

The Dinner (2017)

Directed by: Oren Moverman

Written by; Oren Moverman & Herman Koch (novel)

Starring: Richard Gere, Laura Linney, Steve Coogan, & Rebecca Hall




Paul (Coogan) begins the film by narrating his dislike for going to dinner with his brother, mostly due to his dislike of his brother, Stan (Gere), who is running for Governor.  Nevertheless, he decides to go to dinner with his wife.  The dinner seems like an awkward family affair, but really Stan wants to discuss the trouble that their sons have gotten themselves into.

I walked out after an hour.  Here's why:

1) Steve Coogan.  He is just not a relatable main character.  It was hard to like him and on the contrary, I disliked him.  The whole story was from his point of view, which made it difficult to follow.

2) Too many subject areas.  The film kept jumping around trying to find itself.  It would talk about the sons, then racism, then mental illness, and so on.  It's like pick a topic and stick with it.  I can't stand when they have multiple ones because the film then seems so disorganized and makes it difficult to follow and keep me interested.

3) Sound.  Usually in films, the actors' voices are the loudest and then other noises like footsteps or putting down fine china is in the background.  I don't know if it was the theater I was in or it was the sound mixing, but everything sounded loud from the voices to just clanking glasses.  It was so distracting.

4) Dissolves.  Because of all the different topics, whenever a new topic would come up there would be a dissolve.  It was annoying.

5) Pacing.  The film dragged also.  There were parts that could have been eliminated all together that would have saved time and money.

Perhaps the book is better.  Don't go see it.  1 Kernel.

Pan (2015)

Directed by: Joe Wright

Written by: Jason Fuchs

Starring: Levi Miller, Hugh Jackman, & Garrett Hedlund






I wasn't expecting much when I first came to see this film.  I had heard it was bad, but I wasn't expecting it to be this bad.

There were many negative qualities that this film possessed, but lets first begin with the positives.
1) Garrett Hedlund is hot.
2) The cinematography is amazing.

That about sums it up.

As for the negatives, I think it is at the fault of the director and writer.  Despite the beautiful shots, the editing was half good, half bad.  Probably due to them having hired two editors.  Another film problem is the acting.  The actors performed horribly.  The most realistic performance was by the newcomer Miller, while everyone else was overacting, probably because they were in Neverland.

Another horrible thing, was the "never birds."  When those birds came out, I was just said..."What the f__k is that?"  It did not match the style of anything else in the film.  Their eyes were popping out and it was a skeleton with feathers!  It was ridiculous.  Those birds made it go down one popcorn, it was that terrible.

But what really made the whole movie bad was the combination of existing world attributes and Neverland's attributes.  I'm not saying you cannot mix fantasy with reality, but they mixed it incorrectly.  It was if Wright was trying to imitate Moulin Rogue with modern songs sung by the pirates.  Another reason why it probably didn't work is because when I think of Peter Pan, I think of the Disney movie.  And therefore I base my whole premise on the Disney films.  Warner Bros. tried to make their own story and it failed miserably.

This movie gets a kernel.  Don't see it ever.